SUNDAY 23rd MAY 2010

 

THE BRADSHAWS ANIMATION LATEST...

 

   It goes without saying that animation is a slow process and I'm told that when production work on Postman Pat was really on a roll, for example, animation gushed out at about fourteen seconds per day, so I shouldn't be impatient really. I'm sure that when the decision-makers have finally re-organised their busy diaries after the disruption of the ash cloud (which was found to be merely the result of a cleaner dusting in the Man City trophy room, City fan Andy Williams assures me), and when they've recovered from the punishing sushi-eating week at the Cannes Film Festival, the fate of trivial things like 'the rest of my life' will eventually be decided. Meanwhile the craftsmen and craftsgirls at the Chapman Studios are getting on with the model work - and it all looks fantabulous. I can't wait to show yous. Stay with me!

 

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MONDAY 3rd MAY 2010

 

DANGLING DOG CRAP...

 

   Last weekend I went for a stride around Dovestones Reservoir near Oldham. Being a regular walker I'm used to hopping about dodging dollops of doin's dumped by dogs - or should I say left there by dog wa*kers? (typo?).. The problem isn't a new one, and the usual whingeing answer of "a dog's got to crap" from some typos is crap of a similar sort. Surely even typos swear if they walk some other dog's foul stinking mess all over their carpets.
   Now before you dog lovers accuse me of not liking animals ('Dog lovers?' - tying an animal up and dragging it about isn't love, it's control, by the way), just remember I've been trying to get Alf to let Billy have a pet for years!

   There is now a newer even more disgusting practice that makes some dog wa*kers seem like post-lobotomy patients. Due to the threat of fines for dog fouling, more of the afore-mentioned are collecting their sweet little Shitzu's mess in polythene bags - good, I hear you say. Not quite. Some of these sicko unintelligentia are knotting up the poly bag full of their growlers' foul bowel content and chucking it into the bushes or up into trees. Brain-dead, eh?
  
Let's all hold hands and wish. Now say after me:

   "May the Sweet Fairy of Cold Revenge fly up their trouser legs to visit upon them crabs, chronic haemorroids, anal boils, beri-beri and outbreaks of unidentifiable rashes, not necessarily in that order.."

 

Have a nice day!

~~~~~~~

 

SATURDAY 20th MARCH 2010

 

MUDDLE EARTH ON BBC1...

 

    My fingers and toes are all crossed (it's a bugger this arthritis!) for a good reception to the new CBBC animation series "Muddle Earth" which began on Monday (BBC1 15:50 weekdays). Trust me one day soon to give you all the inside info, but not until the BBC press office have done their bit. Anyway, having Sir David Jason in the voicing team should ensure lots of interest.

    However, I can safely say that it's been a big grin from start to finish, and bazzin' fun and a real privilege to work with such a professional team. I raise my mug of black coffee to all at Chapman Entertainments and Hulaballoo Studios!

 

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TUESDAY 19th JANUARY 2010

 

LONG LIVE LOCAL LINGO...

 

    More and more I find myself getting annoyed at the radio while listening to trendy media types with quasi-Ozzie accents who say ABSOLUTELY all the time instead of YES, or presenters who lisp SICKTH instead of SIXTH (maybe a relative of Freddie Parrot-Face Davis is running the BBC pronunciations department?), or the nouveau townies who strangle the warm and witty Mancunian and Salfordian accents by talking with their mouths screwed tight enough to hold a ciggy in.

   But all is not lost. On Monday, I popped out of Hotsox Studios for some vittles and vitamin D and drove into Uppermill in Saddleworth. Everywhere round here is either uphill or downhill and as I was slithering downhill (not unusual in the world of entertainment) from the free car park (now that is a rarity these days) a woman trudging up the hill towards me looked up, grinned, and then wheezed "Tha needs a rope t'gerrup this street!" It put an inch on my smile.

 

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WEDNESDAY 6th JANUARY 2010

ONWARDS, UPWARDS AND THROUGH THE WINDOW..

  

   Wow!.. through the little hand-made circle on my steamy old window I can see a thick snowy mattress covering up all the litter and strong lager cans, and I'm thinking 'I'll get my boots on and have a trudge up those marshmallow hills for a bit'.

 

   Ow!.. my hamstrings remind me that I did that yesterday with a four-mile hike through Pennine snow drifts, all for the sake of a brown loaf - and they had none!

 

   Ooh!.. here's a memory: I'm five years old sat at a big table in St Anne's Infants' School classroom, and I'm poking a small brush into a jam-jar to get some floury glue on it so's I can smear it on the cotton wool and stick Father Christmas's beard on this Christmas card I'm making for my mam.

 

   I saw on the news this morning that our southern cousins are finally getting some weather, and already there's no bread in the shops, schools are closed, the post won't be delivered (that's news?), the roads are clogged up (ditto), and they haven't seen snow like this since 1947 or 1962 or whenever it snowed down there last time (try living up here, matey!), so the Minister For Missing Gritter Lorries is advising everyone to stay home and watch even more crap telly (after all, this never-mind-the-quality-feel-the-width government has given us loads of choice, hasn't it? - I know, you're right, they're all as bad). Anyway, I just felt like phoning in and telling them to stop whingeing and get a life. But of course, I didn't, cos I've got a bone in my leg.

 

   Ey up, here's a rare piece of christmas cracker wisdom:~

 

   "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why we call it the present".

 

   You won't read that in a Tesco cracker.

SO WHAT'S HAPPENING?...

 

    On the animation front, not a lot. In fact, nowt. But I'm sure that as soon as the world gets over its festive hangover, things will begin to happen again. Meanwhile, for all of us, it's on with the greatest show on earth: life.

 

  Today and forever, or at least until I come up with another strategy, I'm utilising this fine old proverb that I made up recently:~

 

   "PROCRASTINATION GETS OTHER JOBS DONE" (available now on a Bradshaws' t-shirt from the Corner Shop - the marketing never stops, does it?)

 

   To get the most of this, my latest nugget of contrived wisdom, I've currently set out four jobs (viz: this bit of scribbling; my accounts; editing a song on my laptop; practising on guitar) all within easy reach, plus a strong black coffee with two spoonfuls of cheap honey in it, and the small hand-made circle of clear glass on my steamed up window that I mentioned earlier.

 

   And here's how it works:  I fart about with one job for a while until I get bored or reach a difficult bit, and then I simply switch to farting about with a different job until I get bored with that one, and then so on round and round like that, with occasional slurps of coffee and long stares out of the window at the cotton wool world outside.

 

Well, it works for me. - Nurse, he's out of bed again!

 

~~~~~~~

 

  In this brave new blogging and twittering world you might just find it interesting to read some extracts as scribbled in my journal. But then again...

Friday 8th August 2008

MEETING THE ANIMATORS..

   After a couple of introductory telephone conversations I had a meeting at the Chapman animation plant with some of the production team - Phil, Tim, and Vince. Phil (producer) I knew from a theatre show we'd done together a couple of years before, Tim (director) I'd met once, Vince (artist) I met for the first time. It was for me really exciting and they showed me some cartoony visualisations which they'd prepared and they made me chuckle. The characters looked (and still do) quite different from any previous artists impressions, having a modern look to them. They all seemed surprised that I took to them so easily and said they'd expected more of a fight!

The next phase is for Vince to work up the character sketches and for me to prep a short taster script...

 

Monday 15th August 2008

THE BATTLE OF BROKEN KNEE..

   I crushed my knee and now have a 'loose body' - a piece of broken bone - that has lodged behind my knee cap. My knee is swollen up like a blancmange. The hospital A&E treated me as if I made it all up, but I've managed to get a promise from them to arrange for an arthroscopy. God knows when! In the meantime I can barely walk never mind skip around on a stage!

Tuesday 7th October 2008

MICHAEL MORRIS TO THE STAGE PLEASE..

   Vince is now working on other characters. I've just seen Michael Morris and he's funny! The next stage is for the team to build a 'bible' with all the settings, characterisations and storylines for the presentations to broadcasters. Onwards and up 'em then!

 

Monday 5th January 2009

PROCRASTINATION GETS OTHER JOBS DONE..

   My knee seems to be easing and the swelling is going down a bit. Mind you, it should do cos it's six days since I had the arthroscopy operation - I've got two fairly neat holes in my knee now, which looks like Eric Morecambe without the glasses. The good thing about having a broken knee is that it has made procrastination more difficult and all this arse anchoring has resulted in me getting much more writing done.

 

Wednesday 21st January 2009

OUR FAMOUS NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE..

   The building work at my new studios is going well. and who's doing it? Me with a broken knee!... "Broken? You've had an arthroscopy!" I hear you say. Well, the surgeon (and I use the title loosely) drilled my knee a couple of times, didn't find the piece of broken bone (the golfing appointment may have distracted him), stitched me up, and sent me home without telling me it had been a failure and with a poorly copied physiotherapy exercise sheet to keep me occupied. The result? The knee is worse and may well be further damaged by the exercises which I shouldn't have been doing with a broken knee. I now await an appointment for a second operation.Things seem to be progressing steadily with the development of the The Bradshaws bible. I can't wait to get my teeth into this animation project properly.

 

Monday 13th - Thursday 19th February 2009

CABIN FEVER..

   I've had my first writing sessions at my cabin in Anglesey and it's been all I could have hoped for. I've been waiting several years for this and it seems to have passed all the tests. No phone, no internet, no radio, no TV, no mither! All I have to do is write. Write with no ready-made excuses. I plan to come down here for several days most weeks of the year to write. And when the deadlines for the TV animation series are less pressing I'll make some progress with the autobiography, and the book "When Playing Out Was In", and all the other projects I've started and not finished over the years!

 

Saturday 7th March 2009

GETTING TO KNOW THE DRILL..

   Well I've now had my second arthroscopy. In fact the dressings came off today and now there are three wounds, so I'll take that as a good sign meaning they've done a bit more than the last botched operation. I am assured by the surgeon (a different one) that my long term little lodger Bobby Bit O'Bone has been removed, as proven by the object in the sample jar in front of me. I'm going to take this piece of bone outside and beat it to a slush with a hammer later today!

  I'm full on with the Brads animation series writing now with six story outlines to invent, two of which need to be fully developed for half hour programmes. The new premise, being the Bradshaws old fashioned house and style of living set in the world of today, is going to take some thinking about but I'm conviced the characters are big enough to deal with this for me. Come on Alf, Audrey and little Billy.

 

Tuesday 10th March 2009

NOT VERY BRIGHT..

   I stupidly spent too long on a pair of ladders running electricity cables at the studio and now my knee has swollen and bust my stitches, so I'll have to stay put at home for a few days until it goes down a bit.

 

Saturday 18th to Monday 20th April 2009

A CAT AMONGST..

   I'm at my Caban-y-Mynydd scribbling at the half hour stories and having a lot of fun with the new setting. The animation, being full stop frame style and with what is promised to be a good budget, is allowing me to develop the main characters and the others more fully. For instance, Fleabag, the tomcat from a few doors up, is now in a continuing feud with Alf. And the visualisation for the cat is really inspiring so I'm enjoying finding out about him. He's got a lot to offer.

 

Tuesday 23rd April 2009

BACK ON STAGE..

   I've scheduled a few hours business this morning and then I'll focus on the little charity gig I've got tonight. This will be the first time I've been on stage since I got my knee back so I'm looking forward to it.

 

Wednesday 24th June 2009

ONE DONE..

   Episode One is complete at last! And it has had all the thumbs up from the team. I have to say myself it is funny! I'm already on to episode two and I've sketched out the storylines for the other four. I believe the writing process will speed up a bit now that I'm happy with the setting and style but when we get the commission schedule I suspect that four days per week lock-out writing time will only just be enough. So be it!

 

Monday 2nd to Wednesday 4th July 2009

SPEAKING IN VOICES..

   I enjoyed my first voice-over sessions at Hulabaloo for the new BBC TV animated series "Muddle Earth". I'm playing several parts in this including Dr Cuddles the mad teddy bear who wants to rule the world, The Horned Baron who actually rules Muddle Earth (he doesn't rule his wife particularly well though), and Smink a lisping elf, plus assorted elves and ogres. It's been great fun so far and a lot of laughs working with the other voicers too. And I suppose I'll eventually develop a taste for sushi, but being a simple northerner I'll draw the line at having my own mongraphed chopsticks. It's a funny old world.

 

Monday 12th July 2009

FIRST DEADLINE MET..

   Episode Two is now completed and I'm dead chuffed with it. I can't wait to see what the animators do with Audrey and her mates in the "Aerobatics For Fattish Lasses" class scene. That will be a treat! The six storyline synopses took a lot of joined-up thinking but they're done too. Whoopee!

 

Wednesday 29th July 2009

MORE VOICES AND A VISIT TO THE CHAPMAN WORKSHOP..

 

   I had a recall to Hullabaloo Studios to try alternative voices for two of the Muddle Earth characters. It was a tough one but I gave a good account of myself - I think! Doing new voice characterisations has more to it than meets the eye: first I have to get under the skin of the character; then dig around in my voice box for a pitch and tone that suits and doesn't conflict with other characters in the dialogue; then find something to make it unique - like a lisp, or manner, or other idiosyncrosy - maybe by twisting my mouth or contorting my face. Then, in a perfect world, I can practise and get used to it before acting the part. But it isn't a perfect world is it? So it was all on the fly with me alone at the microphone, and producer, director, and soundman on the other side of the glass watching me pulling my face and making strange noises. Anyway, we put several demo voicings up on their FTP site for the decision-makers at the Beeb to judge.We'll hear soon no doubt.

 

   I popped across to the Chapman workshops to see how the team are doing with the Bradshaws 'bible'. Bazzin'! It's in the form of a big flat box with a house-shaped front and back complete with windows and doors, and the inside containing miniature furniture and ornaments. Within it will be character introductions, model photos and illustrations, sample scripts, story outlines and a brief history of the Bradshaws. It looks totally unique and together with some audio, the models, and some stand-up from me, should knock the broadcasters out. Bring them on!

 

Tuesday 26th October 2009

YOU SET 'EM UP AND I'LL KNOCK 'EM DOWN...

 

   Wow, is that the date already?!... a brief update is in order then. The Bradshaws bible is ready (see above for a description) and looking stunning - in fact, there are six of them, all identical, and some lucky commissioning editors are going to get to keep them as they are 'leave behinds'. I'm still awaiting the dates for the presentation to the broadcasters, and I'm planning to knock some funny bones when I get them locked in a room with me. Things are busy at the animation studios at the moment with current projects - and one 'big secret' one in particular - but the Bradshaws project should be back on the radar soon.

 

   The BBC 'Muddle Earth' voice sessions are continuing and twelve episodes are now ready for edit. They look amazing and are bound to create a lot of interest when they begin transmission on CBBC around April 2010. I heard one episode with the music track overlayed and it's like a feature film. My main character is the 'Horned Baron', Ruler of Muddle Earth, and after several changes I'm really comfortable with him. I am looking forward to seeing 'Smink' in action too - he's funny. He's a goblin salesman I've contrived a character and voice for and had a lot of fun with. Hopefully the writers will cotton on to him and write him up a bit more later on in the series.

 

  Finally for now, 'Hotsox Studios', my new recording studios, are up and running and I'm excited at getting stuck into my solo music album project soon!

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

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