BILLY BRADSHAW
WITTERINGS...
"erm iya!.. I like it when you send me letters wiv funy pichers on em! I got sum more so we've stuckd em on my speshul page. All the new bits go at the top of the page an' so the holder bits get pushd down more furverer but you can still see em if you go downwerds!..
hokay, 'ere's a lickle puzle for you wot I made hup meself wivout no 'elp from nobody epsept mi dad a bit.."
AUDREY BRADSHAW
JUST TO CONFUSE YOU...
"Ooh 'allo luvvy!.. Will it rain or won't it? - Ada Woods says she can usually tell by her corns. She says it's a gift, like readin' tea-leaves an' that, but I can't. As a matter of fact mine 'ave been playin' up for weeks an' they do say 'Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns' - whatever that means. Anyway, I've got a right load of washin' to dry what I 'ad to bring back wet from the wash-'ouse on account of the big dryer bein' broke, an' even after two go's through the mangle they were still soppin' wet!.. An' Alf complains if I 'ave to 'and it on the clothes rack over the table cos last week 'e says it was drippin' on 'is plate an' makin' 'is neck-end soup all watery - actually it was probly cos I'd run out of cornflour to thicken it!
Ooh listen, I've been gettin' some nice letters lately an' we've put some of them on my new page "Audrey's Kitchenette" - Go on, 'ave a look!
"
WORK IN PROGRESS
ALF BRADSHAW
EY UP!...
"You no doubt won't be surprised to learn that my name in Anglo-Saxon or Teutonic means "keen counselor" or "wise helper". Neither will you be surprised to learn that my blatantly obvious wisdom and superior intellect are lost on the two pea-brains I 'ave to live with. But even I, sometimes but not often, get it wrong, believe it or not! Example: the other day Witterin' Willy was doin' 'is 'omework and asked me what is the capital of France? Now 'e could see I 'ad the newspaper over my face, which generally indicates my desire to be left alone while I 'ave forty-ish. I should know better than to say "Ask yer mother" unless it's a simple question like "what time is it?" or "is mi tea ready?". Anyway, 'e askd 'is mother. An she told 'im - Capital 'F'. He wrote it down and his teacher marked it wrong - along with seven of the other nine answers. Mea culpa!"
HAWKINS
TALKIN' ..
"It's been a bazzin' couple of weeks - full of variety and promise and mildew.
I've..
had mad nights at a packed Chorley Little Theatre and a half-full Ormskirk Civic Hall.. been a cool rock daddy compering a music gig at Glossop Town Hall.. had some on-air fun at Chorley FM Radio.. enjoyed a cosy accoustic session with local musos.. found my main graphics computer dead in the corner of my studios.. picked a winner in Salford City Radio's 'write a Bradshaws story' competition.. filled up reading some lovely fan-mail.. written the missing bit of lyric for the title track of my solo album.. helped a little mousey escape toture and death from my mate's nasty cat.. drove loads of friends daft with a 'name that tune' teaser.. and killed a small forest of mildew with my bare hands.. and this week I finished my little theatre tour at Altrincham Garrick. See you next time!" - BH
Remember - life is only as boring as you let it make you!
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"you can go on my
page for the hanser an' to learn Morse Code - it's good!.. I can't really do it proper yet cos you av to tap it on the table or sumfink an' mi mam seys it mite mark it but if I do it ded genkle it's hokay... he-hee!"
GO TO BILLY'S PAGE
TO LEARN MORSE CODE
WORK IN PROGRESS
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"Thanks to all the staff and crew at all the theatres and venues that we visited on our little tour, for making us so welcome, and especially to you lot who made the nights crackers by being the audience! I look forward to next time.
Meanwhile stay tuned in and remember - The roads of life are strewn with rakes.. tread carefully! " - BH WORK IN PROGRESS
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"erm, what's next?.. oh yeh!..'ere's some hinfermashun from the download fairy.." 
DOWNLOADING
THE BRADSHAWS
On the train, on the bus, on the hoof or on your bike, you can still have a laugh.
As millions of us now own one of those trendy little mp3 or ipod gadgets to help us escape the boring bits, so Hawkins has been especially careful in his recordings to make the quality of each of the 300 Bradshaws stories fresh and atmospheric for you to listen to on your little earphones. In fact (says Hawkins) listening to The Bradshaws on headphones is even more fun!..
(all the individual stories are now available from your favourite download sites ~ see above)
Just click on the link to your favourite download store
The Bradshaws on
Audio
Lunchbox.com
The Bradshaws on
iTunes
The Bradshaws on
emusic
The Bradshaws on
napster
The Bradshaws
on
rhapsody